Hey! I'm Gage, and I will be adding to this blog from now on, along-side Liam. I wrote this article to try and spread some of the things I've learnt from the hardships in my life.
First off, we can describe the difference and similarities between emotions and thoughts, as I intermittently switch between using the words "thoughts" and "emotions". This is because thoughts provoke emotions and emotions provoke thoughts and my advice applies to both. So, let us begin...
Being bombarded with negative energy, hatred and disrespect crumbles the soul like waves breaking down a shoreline, but with the resolve and the right motives, you can strengthen your heart and mind. These are my tips for adopting a healthy attitude towards your feelings.
The point of "building emotional resistance" is not to try to forget and neglect your feelings and emotions, because they're what make us human; it's more about identifying negative emotions and thinking, "Are they harmful?", "Are they necessary?" and "Are they important?" I have been emotionally traumatized before and I've had to deal with my parents being divorced multiple times, so I am sharing with you from personal experience.
Building a strong emotional profile is never normally something you decide to do whilst you are happy or in a positive mental state, but rather, when you need it most. Besides this, being equipped with the right knowledge and tools to help keep your mind clear and healthy is always in order. Nobody is in the same situation in life and that's an important thing to remember, but that doesn't mean you are alone.
We are going to start off with what NOT to do when you have negative thoughts and emotions, so keep this in mind as you read. We will get to healthy methods later on.
UNHEALTHY | "The Bottle Response"
"The Bottle Response" is an unhealthy way of dealing with emotions and negative thoughts. It means trying to forget your problem or hide it away and pretend like it doesn't exist, and, honestly, it can be the easiest way to deal with emotions. Even though it is the "easiest" way of handling emotions, it is damaging. The emotions will lie in wait, stashed at the back of your mind and they will only intensify. When you bottle up your emotions, they condense and tend to break out when you are feeling weak or vulnerable. When this happens, you slowly build up a plethora of "bottled up" emotions which, like a land mine, will be set off by the slightest disturbance and cause you many more problems than you started off with. So, needless to say, this is not a viable method for dealing with your feelings and thoughts.
UNHEALTHY | "The Victim Response"
I call this "The Victim Response", because it's a way of taking self pity and victimizing yourself, whilst allowing unpleasant thoughts and emotions to cloud your life. This usually becomes a big problem when you have an emotional crisis of sorts, or just a seemingly massive issue which you don't believe yourself capable enough to deal with. I find this method normally arrives with the mentality of not helping yourself in these sorts of challenges and rather, just 'letting it happen to you'. This could be considered better than "The Bottle Response” but is still extremely inadvisable and could perhaps lead to a depressive mind-set.
Now for some healthy ways to calm your mental state and build emotional resilience:
HEALTHY | "The Pressure Release Method"
This is by far the safest and one of my favourite methods for dealing with emotional hardships. It means finding someone that will understand you and respect you whilst you confide in them. I generally find this person to be a very close friend who I trust, or one of my parents. Telling one of your parents is great, but some of my friends who do this tend to get some adverse reactions to their problems and secrets. This means you need to be sure that your parents will respect your thoughts. At the end of the day, it’s good to know that there is always someone to help you in your time of need and that you are not alone. This method works because you air your secrets and spread the burden, which feels like a weight off your chest. Although you may feel like "spreading the burden" means spreading the emotional torment, but it doesn't, as it is very rare that the person you confide in feels the same way about your feelings that you do. That is important to remember. So, in summary opening up about your emotions to people you trust by speaking to them is a great way to help yourself feel better. Finally, if you have some real emotional challenges that you don’t think your parents or friends can handle, there are professionals out there to help.
HEALTHY | "The Self-Teacher Method"
A way of helping to soothe yourself and prevent the re-occurrence of certain bad thoughts in the future is to take the time to really relax and reflect. Self-assurance concerning your thoughts is the most reliable way to recognize and sort them out. This is because the more often you do this, the better you will become at it, until you can go about everyday life, prepared for when something mentally or emotionally challenging pops up, so that. Within a matter of moments, you can decide whether it was important enough to take up mental space or if it's better off forgotten. This is the method I use, since I stopped using The Pressure Release Method around about when I reached adolescence.
These "methods " are not a result of scientific research, but rather, my own experience, so it's best better to take them with a grain of salt. Use them to inspire you to explore your own ways of dealing with your feelings. But whatever you do, you have to deal with them.
I may revisit this topic in the future, but if this article hasn't got what you are looking for, search on the Internet! Your answers are only a few clicks away. Just make sure they are from trusted sources, or if you’re really struggling, speak to someone in real life.
Thanks for reading
-Gage
HAJIME